Better excuse

As the sad mother of Bill Clinton, I am here to apologize for his actions in office. His immature behavior was completely inappropriate and undeserved by the entire nation. Though there is a reasonable explanation for his actions. As a child, Billy was dropped on his head by his father. (His flat head shows the proof of this) Poor Billy’s mind was disorganized from then on. It’s quite obvious that the whole Monika Lewinski thing was due to his head injury. You see, his vision has never been the same since his father dropped him. To my knowledge, it was my Billy’s blurred visions that lead him to the passionate intercourse with Monica Lewinski. He had no idea that the woman he was engaging sexual activities with wasn’t his dear beloved Hilary. He denied the entire mistake because he didn’t want everyone to know that the person leading their country was dropped on their head as a baby. He wanted to protect his reputation, just as anybody would. If there is anyone to blame for this it would be Mrs. Monica herself. She should have known that she wasn’t Hilary Clinton, and if she knew she wasn’t, then it was completely wrong for her to take advantage of poor Billy’s disadvantages. On behalf of my son’s mistake, I will be opening up a vision correction center in Washington, for anybody who has been dropped on their head, and has occipital lobe damage. This can help prevent terrible mistakes that would end people’s career and reputation. Thank you for your time, and understanding. Sincerely,
Billy’s Mother